I get asked this all the time when someone is having an issue with their relationship. They ask me how they can get the person they love and care about so much to “stop doing ______” Sometimes their spouse is degrading them or trying to push buttons to engage in unhealthy behaviors that cycle into deep seeded resentments. The relationship continues on and so does the pattern developing into a parasite host relationship instead of a healthy nurturing relationship.
The rationale can go something like this, “But I love him/her.” What you love is “crazy”, what you love is the cycle that you have grown to expect, disagree/fight, then makeup. However unhealthy your relationship is or has become you have somehow grown to be accustomed to the behavior and termed it “love.” Sometimes there are deeper issues that contribute to our liking this pattern. You may have come from an abusive home or have had other unhealthy relationships before this. Perhaps you think this is just your luck and that you always find these sort of relationships. Keep in mind we pick people, places, and things because they make us feel comfortable. It’s what we are used to, it’s what we know so we seek someone that fulfills that familiarity.
However if we want to evolve and transform our boundaries and concepts of what love is we need to accept something new. We need to uncover our potential and we need to acknowledge that we actually have the right o be loved. We don’t have to stay with the insanity because we think that this is the only concept of love we will ever have. We can release the unhealthy and move forward with healing our patterns and embarking on a new journey to love.
So when does the insanity stop? It stops when we have stopped participating. It takes two to argue. It takes two to disagree. When one person stops arguing the argument has no more fuel. There is no more ignition, there is no more flame. Take that all away and what you have left is the truth. Either you carry on in a loving way or you don’t carry on at all.
If you ever were curious about why you have some of the relationships you have then this book is for you. Start by assessing your roles and involvements in relationships and then look at some of the people you establish yourself with. This book takes you through a series of chapters and journal exercises that will allow you to uncover your life patterns and establish healthier relationships as a result.
One of our focal points here is to assess your role in relationships such as family, friends, and love relationships, then take a look at any patterns that may have developed over the years. Once we bring our life patterns into awareness, we are able to identify unhealthy behaviors, and work towards improving our daily relationships.
- Identify your relationship patterns
- Assess your roles in relationships
- Deal with past issues
- Discover signs of healthy relationships
- Rebuild your trust
- Learn how to abandon drama
- Learn healthy habits
- Self examination
Rev. Dr. Meilena Hauslendale, Ph.D. is a spiritual teacher,medium,healer, and intuitive counselor. She helps transform people’s lives and connect with their higher self.