This is what I live for…

Photography by Valdormar Hauslendale

I just celebrated my birthday a few days ago and it felt amazing. Yes, we are in quarantine like many other people worldwide because of COVID-19, but life is all about what you make of it. It made me realize that I like the world I created on the inside. I love the people I choose to be around and I’m proud of our family.

My husband and I have been married for going on twenty-two years. We have 5 beautiful children, 4 boys and 1 girl, age ranges from 1 to 17. We were married for 3 years before we had our first child and thought we were okay with not having children and would continue to just travel. Then we found out we were pregnant and our world changed but for the better. We continued to travel no matter how many we expanded in our family. Home is wherever we are and so is comfort.

Remote work and centering activities around the home is not new to us. We committed to homeschooling and working remotely for almost 18 years now. I’ve been breastfeeding back to back for those 18 years averaging about 4 years per child. We work, we play, and we love. Are we social introverts? Yep, but it works for us. We eliminate social distractions so we have more time to place where our attention matters, cooking a good meal together, enjoying a sun set, talking about how we view the world.

Out of all the things I am and do, a medium, an author, a spiritual advisor, an artist, and even a technical geek, the most important roles of them all are being the best wife and mother I can be.

Has your young child ever made an accurate psychic prediction?

This is a great question. My husband and I have 4 boys together and all of them have made predictions that have come true or were accurate without them having prior knowledge. This makes Christmas and birthdays very challenging and even hiding goodies. They can even determine a pregnancy before we are aware, to give you an understanding of their foresight.

Depending on what gifts your child exhibits you can do exercises with them to help them develop their natural abilities. The most important aspect of your role as a parent is to help validate their claims. If what they see is true, validate that and even discuss how they “saw” this.

For myself growing up I would naturally see trouble before it happened, know about issues in marriages of family, and even accidents. The challenge for me was that I was in a family that did not believe in this sort of foresight. So it was always brushed off and never discussed. I became trained to be “quiet” so that I would appear normal. My family was primarily Catholic and this sort of behavior was not considered a gift but looked upon in a negative light.

Being intuitive and empathetic to our environment is a very natural state of being. It’s important that we encourage children to use their gifts now so that they can continue using them as adults and making very conscious guided decisions in life.

I also want to note the sensitivities that children with abilities have. What you may think is a normal activity might be very daunting to your child. The reason for this is they feel other’s energy and can react in a negative way just to avoid the situation, and avoid the energy. Situations like zoos, crowded toy stores, amusement parks all may seem normal and enjoyable, but to a sensitive child it is an overwhelming feeling of others’ energy.

To take this a step further, before we find out we are pregnant we are visited by the child’s spirit. I have all male children, so they visit my husband and they visit their brothers. They will even wake them up and try to wake my husband up as well. Both my husband and children will see the same child. They will also tell us their name and that is how we name our children. So communication happens not only after birth but also before.

Teaching children not to be scared or ashamed of their abilities helps them feel comfortable with sharing and using them. It can be very daunting to feel like you don’t belong or like you are different in some way, but in our differences we bear our purpose.

Mommie Moments -Taking Time For Yourself

Being a parent is a role that requires a large majority of our attention and time. Whether you have one child or fourteen children, you are more than likely aware that personal time is at a minimal. As a mother your attention is always on demand. There are meals to be made, clothes to be washed, and rooms to be cleaned. Not to mention other responsibilities like entertaining hungry little minds.

So where does your time fit into this equation? Regardless of time restraints, it is imperative for a mother’s well-being to have a little down time. Even a half hour to an hour a day can be a refreshing overhaul for a mother’s daily routine. A moment to gather your thoughts without distractions can refresh your spirit and attitude, making you that much more prepared to meet the demands of your children, your family, and your life.

Nurturing our children begins with us nurturing ourselves. When we view our personal time in this way, we are able to see what a priority we really should be. Take time to dedicate to personal reflection like journaling, music, or art or whatever activity that makes you really feel apart of yourself. If you only get small increments of time daily then make a weekly list of what you would like to accomplish. Manage your time, don’t allow time to manage you.

Everyone needs personal time to listen to their own voice and reflect on their lives. But for mothers that time isn’t always readily available. And often your personal time is overlooked by those around you. The only person that can make your time a priority is you. So make sure you set boundaries wherever necessary. While your children are napping, utilize that time for yourself. Let the dishes wait and grab a book or do some exercise instead. Remember that the time you invest in yourself is time well spent.

Mommie Moments – Getting Your Partner To Help

It is very easy for a Mom to take on a large part of the responsibilities of raising a child even when she has a loyal and dedicated partner. There are several things you manage, nursing, cleaning, laundry, cooking, and caring and playing with your little ones. Not to mention any other miscellaneous tasks that may come up. Between naps may be the only private time a mother receives during a busy day. Allowing your partner to assist and asking for their help can really help alleviate any exhaustion.

A common misconception is assuming your partner knows that you need help. Often as long as the tasks and responsibilities are taken care of, your partner assumes that everything is under control. They may even assume that you are not experiencing any form of exhaustion at all. The key here is to communicate with your partner some of your daily tasks. This allows them to get a better idea of what your typical day is like.

Allow your partner to be more involved with the caretaking of your little ones. While they are together try to minimize jumping in to fix the situation when challenges between the two arise. Allowing your partner to problem solve when situations occur only increases your partner’s confidence in handling matters. It also allows them to strengthen their already loving bond with their child.

If you need help doing housework or any other chores, don’t be afraid to ask your partner for help. Make your needs known to your partner so that there is no miscommunication. You just may discover that your partner will actually appreciate being asked to be more involved with daily activities.
Being open about your needs prevents resentments from occurring and alleviates tension for both parties. Remember that your partner doesn’t know your thoughts unless you express them.

10 Things Moms Love Most About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a joy, a unique ability that only a mother can provide. After nine months of watching your baby grow inside your body, you can continue nourishing them naturally by breastfeeding. Here are 10 things you can appreciate while breastfeeding. Enjoy and happy lactating!

1. Feeding While Sleeping – Nothing makes a mother happier than breastfeeding while sleeping.  No bottles or waking up to heat anything up, just breastfeed right there in bed and relax with your baby.  You lose less sleep and your baby easily goes back to sleep after eating.

2. Playing With Your Hair – Gentle tugs on the hair is just a baby’s way of playing while eating.  If you have a sensitive head of hair you can adapt your baby to play with a necklace you wear or anything else kid friendly.

3. You are Feeding Another Human Being – Don’t doubt your ability to produce milk.  Don’t doubt your ability as a breastfeeder or a mother.  Your body is made for this moment.  As long as you are taking proper care of yourself and consuming enough calories your supply will be plentiful.

4. Feed your baby and make a living– You can be present and at work, it is clearly possible.  If you have to work in an office enjoy the pumping break.  Use this as an opportunity to read or just relax out of your busy day.  If you can work remote at all costs.  You would be amazed at what breastfeeders are accomplishing out of their own homes.

5. Breastfeeding Doesn’t Have to Hurt– If you are new to breastfeeding the first latching habits might feel unusual at first, but your breasts will get used to this new role they serve and so will you.  If one position hurts you try a different position or make sure that your baby has a good latch.

6. Fuller Breasts and Increased Cup Size – Enjoy the beauty of motherhood by accepting this remarkable gift.  You are producing food with just the right nutrients for your baby and at just the right temperature.  Enjoy your breasts and let your husband or partner enjoy them too.  According to BreastCancer.org, “breastfeeding can lower breast cancer risk, especially if a woman breastfeeds for longer than one year.”

7. Increase Breastfeeding Awareness – Don’t be embarrassed when you are out in public and have to feed your child.  Consider it part of your civil duty to show the younger generations the natural joys of parenting.  Your courage gives them courage to become a future breastfeeder.  Have fun with it!  Own it!

8. Leak Guards in Action – Contrary to popular belief breastfeeders don’t go around leaking all over the floors of business establishments.  You can wear a padded bra or use nursing pads and you won’t have to worry about soaking your shirt out in public again.

9. Ween When You Are Both Ready – There is no magic number on when a baby should stop breastfeeding.  In fact weening can even be child led.  When they are ready to stop nursing they will stop or no longer show an interest.  Weening can be just as natural as breastfeeding itself.  So just relax and enjoy the relationship you have now.  These moments are sacred.

10. Quiet Moments Together – The greatest thing about breastfeeding is just taking that moment of time to sit down and allow you and your baby that closeness that bonds you together.  Know that you are giving them emotional security and comfort by holding them in your arms and nourishing their needs while supporting their immune system.

Meilena is a mother of 4 boys, and a breastfeeder for 15 years.