If you spend most of your life in situations that provide you with hurt or shame, you become tolerant to the pain. You soon overlook the fact that it is there. You might walk around with it on a daily basis, carrying it with you always, and never fully realizing just how much it affects your life, let alone your personal well-being.
This could be a pain from your past or it could be something right in your present day life. If you are fortunate, something or someone will help you realize that you are walking around wounded. They will remind you of who you use to be or perhaps they will show you that there is a difference in life that exists beyond what you know.
Consider these messages and signs to be doctors to your burdens. They are there to help show you that you do not have to tolerate or live with the pain. They are there to let you know that you can let go of your grief, your hurt, or your unhappiness simply by being willing to seek or be shown another way of life. You have to be willing to change how you live and how you love.
This means you must focus on your own well-being. Focus on your priorities and responsibilities not someone else’s. When we remove the weight of outside opinions and lives, we are taken right back to where we belong, our centers. From this center and this core all our happiness or lack there of exists. We need to regain our perceptions and zero in on when or where we lost site of ourselves and took on more than was required of us.
We must look at what is our responsibility and what is not our responsibility. Then make the adjustments or take action when necessary. It is easy to take care of and provide for those we care for, but it is not always in their best interest for us to do so. Children and the elderly are of course an exception to this statement as it is our duty to look after their best interests. However, for a well and able adult, we must allow them to take responsibility for themselves as well as their actions.
Other instances of pain tolerance would be when we walk around carrying our hurt. Carrying hurt from our pasts can be a heavy weight on our shoulders not to mention it takes up space in our hearts. When our hearts are filled with hurt, there is not a lot of room for love. Or the individual may try so desperately to shield themselves from the hurt that they shelter themselves from love, and wind up choosing relationships that compromise their full potential.
Everyone hurts and everyone experiences pain in their lives, but we can make the choice to let go of it once we have properly addressed it. We don’t have to tolerate pain. We don’t have to accept living a life that is unhappy. We can move beyond that even if it means doing so alone.
Once you have addressed your pain, take time to allow yourself to grieve. Cry, write, paint, talk to a close friend, or just sit with your thoughts by yourself. Do whatever it takes to recognize what bothers you or weighs you down. Doing so will make more space in your heart for whatever love lies ahead.
This week’s question comes from a woman who’s been seeing a man she met on a popular dating website for the past four months.
While they’ve been seeing one another semi-regularly, he does make a point of reminding her how much he loves his freedom. While he hasn’t expressed a desire to become exclusive, he has expressed jealousy over the prospect of her seeing others.
She feels like she’s getting a lot of mixed messages from him. She also wonders if there is a potential for things to develop into a more serious relationship or if that prospect will continue to be just out of reach.
On the one hand he’s sweeping her off her feet with grand romantic gestures (like chartering a plane and whisking her away to exotic locales for the weekend), and on the other he rarely discusses feelings and seems to focus on the physical aspects of their relationship instead.
She’s confused about not only where things stand now, but where they might be heading in the future. Because she has young children, she’s not able to be as free-spirited or spontaneous as he seems to be, but she also doesn’t want to waste her time on a man who may not have any interest in taking this romance to the next level.
Here I take a look at her question with a three tarot card spread using the beautiful Psychic Tarot Oracle Cards deck by John Holland.
The cards pulled were Throat Chakra, Triumph and New Beginnings. Here’s the spread:
And here is my interpretation:
Thank you so much for writing in. My first impressions is that you need to communicate what you want and what you expect out of this relationship. This is where the Throat Chakra comes into play.
Just because you are being swept off your feet does not mean that you should not have any expectations on the relationship. This time and opportunity is being presented to you to allow you a moment to speak up for yourself and really express your wants and needs.
This is where there was a lot of confusion with your prior relationships. It was like your voice was never being heard and the person you were with wasn’t listening.
I know this might be scary and might be overwhelming for you to do, but you and your beautiful girls deserve the best and anyone that compromises this or falls short can move on. I am showing that you will be successful with expressing your needs and being up front. This is where the Triumph card comes in.
Don’t feel that you are risking anything at all. This will actually set the stage for the future of the relationship and make him own up to what you are about. If he wants to be exclusive then you can tell him you expect the same amount of loyalty and tell him you deserve this.
There are a few things going on here, you are building a relationship, you are sticking up for yourself and rebuilding your self-esteem. Just because you are living with family right now don’t feel that this will last forever. This is only temporary.
I do see the New Beginnings card coming in the near future but this one will be owned by you. Stand up for yourself, set healthy boundaries and expectations and look at the big picture on what they really have to offer you.
Money is nice but being treated like the queen you are is even nicer. Make sure he is clear on what your expectations of the relationship are and see if he is ready to grow together.
Keep us posted on your progress and thanks again for writing in!
Many blessings you are a strong woman!
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This column was originally posted on PsychicScoop.com “Real Psychics for Real People”
This week’s question comes from a client who’s become increasingly aware of the role that each of us play in creating the lives that we desire.
She’s begun to follow her own spiritual path; immersing herself in various metaphysical studies and opening up to spiritual teachings on-line and in her community.
She’s been inspired and encouraged by the results she’s already achieved. But she also feels that she could be doing something more.
She’s looking for greater meaning in her life and also wants to use what she’s learned to help others.
She feels that she’s growing in leaps and bounds and yet still wonders if something might be missing.
She’s asks: “What things can I do from a psychic perspective to enhance the positive energy in my life and manifest things that I not only desire but are beneficial to my soul growth in a positive way?”
This week I take a look at her question, using a three-card tarot spread, as well as the psychic impressions that came to her while meditating on this client’s questions.
Here’s her response:
Hello and thank you for your question! The cards I pulled for you were from the Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck.
I picked Wisdom, Partnership & Alliances, and Hope. I am including the clairvoyant messages that are coming to me as well.
The card of Wisdom for me tells me that you are at a stage in your life where you are ready to learn. You are ready to take your intuitive gifts to the next level and actually start manifesting more of your purpose. So the teacher will soon appear.
It is like you have already started to open the gate inside of yourself but it is going to be expanding even more so.
The card of Partnership & Alliances tells me that in order for you to increase the positive energy in your life you need to access what relationships benefit you and what relationships do not. If something or someone is depleting your energy then you know that it is taking a toll on your well being instead of enhancing it.
Be mindful of this, not everyone is at the same stage or vibration that you are at right now and as you evolve so will your vibrations. Remember like attracts like. To be positive you need to be around positive people and others that are just as interested in moving forward as you are.
The card of Hope tells me you are stepping into a new phase of your life where you are acting out of purpose not out of necessity. You will be able to manifest your soul’s desires and purpose by focusing your intentions.
Use meditations as a time to focus on your goals and to also listen to hear what your Spirit Guides are trying to tell you.
Pay attention to coincidences and signs that will be coming, you will be drawn to people, places, and things for a reason. It’s your Spirit Guide’s way of laying out a map right in front of you.
Keep us posted and most importantly trust your intuition, it’s truly lighting your path.
As a Psychic Medium over 80% of my clients ask about relationship issues. They want to know when they will commit or if their partner is being faithful. A reading allows us to get a neutral perspective of what is going on in the relationship. We can often see if there is someone else involved or if the relationship has the full potential that you deserve. We can help with pinpointing obstacles or personality differences that might cause a conflict and you just need to be mindful on how to tame this.
For me personally when I perform a reading I can hear or feel the energy surrounding the relationship. I can hear the perspective of the partner and I can feel the energy and nature of the person asking the question. I can tell if the obstacle of the relationship resides with the querent or the partner. This helps create an understanding and allows me to see the other person’s perspective in a neutral instead of subjective view. Once these issues are brought to light and are in the open, it makes sense and you can take appropriate action or curve your own behavior based on the solutions.
I can also see if the past is standing in the way of your future. We often have partners that enter in our lives that are there to help us uncover or heal our past. You might not always be aware of this information but your subconscious is and that’s why you choose the relationships you do.
Sometimes you just want to know how the person feels about you and if they are serious and want to commit. A reading can help you get to the bottom of the situation and will allow you to gain a different perspective of what is going on behind the scenes that you might not be aware of.
I like asking my guides a few different questions, first I like to look at how the overall relationship is and what the current outcome will bring. Then I like to ask about how about their feelings for the querent and if their intentions are true. I am always looking out for the querent’s higher and greatest good. If I see other partners coming your way I will let you know this as well.
A reading can let us get a good sense of the truth. It’s very similar to a movie. When you are watching a movie you get to see all the characters and how they act. You can even predict what will happen and sometimes you even stop and think why would they do that when the person clearly loves someone else? Well this is how a psychic gets to peer into your partnership and see the different angles that are surrounding your question.
A reading can help bring clarity to a difficult trial in a relationship. If you are in the middle of a love triangle a reading can help you discern the truth and see the future actions your lover might take. Just having a relationship reading can help you iron out the wrinkles and gain insight around a confusing situation. Sometimes it is hard to look at a situation for what it truly is when we are so involved and committed. Working with a psychic helps us turn the light on and examine and make positive choices for our future.
Is he or she the love of your life? Or is the relationship distracting you from your higher purpose? You can get the answers you need with compassion and accuracy.
We have the power to create our own stories and be our own voice. When we allow ourselves to constantly retreat and attach ourselves to our hurt energy, we are allowing ourselves to live in a lower vibration. It is ok to grieve. It is ok to feel and I am not suggesting that you suppress any of this. However, give yourself a boundary. If you start to think about their actions, give yourself a time limit. Allow yourself to only think about this for 10 minutes. And when you do have these thoughts come into your head, don’t attach their lack of care to your outcome. Use this to motivate you to be more loving towards others. You were given this experience for a reason, use this not as something to keep you down, but to help you push forward. Sometimes we are shown how to be by being shown how not to be.
After the time has passed, whatever time frame you set, then take another 10 minutes to focus on your direction and positive attributes about yourself. This will help you increase your vibrations and get out the pattern.
Originally published on Quora.