Negative self-talk often stems from early childhood when we impose others’ habits of negative behavior or actions towards ourselves. We can carry this into adulthood and start replaying the old tapes that deplete our motivations and self-esteem. We can remove the negative people and situations from our lives but still continue to act out their aggressions.

We can overcome this by becoming aware of our own actions. We can listen to how we talk about ourselves and how we treat ourselves in public and in private. Are we placing limits on our own goals and accomplishments? Are we disputing ourselves when we attempt to start a task?

Remember to give yourself the same love and devotion that you would give your best friend.

Here are a few tips that can help you stop talking bad about the person you are with the most… yourself:


      • Say thank you:
        When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you. You don’t have to dispute it or argue. Just say thank you and allow yourself to listen to how others perceive you in a positive light.
      • Create a gratitude list:
        It helps to feel good about yourself if you stop and realize everything in life that you have to be grateful for. Take a moment to recognize those you love whether it is close friends, family, or just situations. Write it down and watch the list grow. You will find it difficult to feel down about yourself when you see everything you are fortunate to have.
      • List out things you like about yourself:
        What do you like about you? What are some things that you wouldn’t change about yourself even if you could?   This could be an interesting trait or characteristic that makes you unique. Talk about your talents and skills. Maybe you are a good friend or listener. Maybe you can do something that few people can, own it.
      • Change negative statements to positive questions:
        Instead of saying “I can’t do this!” ask, “How can I do this?” Instead of saying “This can’t be done!” you can ask yourself, “How can this be done?” Create doors instead of walls for yourself. Leave solutions open so you don’t feel dead-ended.
      • Take care of yourself:
        Be willing to do the footwork. If you want to feel good about yourself you need to do the footwork to get yourself in a good place. You can start by creating a success ritual that will get you feeling motivated for your day. Drink water. Eat healthy. Dress for your day and exercise even if it means just walking for 10 minutes. Take baby steps to show yourself that you care about your own well-being.